Fit and Fat

Fat people are funny. When they run, when they jump, when they try to stand and especially when they try to turn around. It takes a lot out of them. I know that because I'm a fat guy. And when I say that fat people are funny, I don't even think they are aware of it.

I've been made fun of being fat ever since I was a kid. I was lethargic, inactive, averse to athletics and definitely not the fastest around. I always wished I could have been like those strong and sporty guys. Well, I've had to wait for 23 long years but my wishes have finally come true.

So what happened? Did I start taking steroids? Did I change my diet plan? No. I just purchased the brand new Maruti Ritz. No longer am I the guy who never reaches the finishing line. Now I am a powerful machine with ample power and torque for those high speeds and a great pick up.

I'm aerodynamic and fast. Zipping through the lanes with graceful movement. I still may be big with a large and strong frame that provides for my stability. But that doesn't mean I'm not flexible. With a tight turning radius of 4.7 metres, I shall be doing the turns in no time.

And no longer shall I be huffing and puffing after every round. With an excellent fuel efficiency of 21.1 kmpl, I think my lungs shall be game for more.

The Ritz website.

I happened to log on to the Maruti Ritz official website today. All the buildup in the auto mags only served to tickle my curiosity. More to find out how different it is from it predecessor, ‘Splash’, than anything else. The official Maruti Suzuki site lists a direct link to www.marutisuzukiritz.com on the page detailing Ritz specs.

First things first – it is a neat design, no doubt about it. The navigation is smooth and simple and the layout is eye pleasing. What takes the cake though is the interactive introduction to some of the Ritz key features. Hovering over the car, both its exterior and interior, you get quite a good idea of what those techie terms like ‘Flexible 60:40 Rear Seat Split’ translates into reality. Clicking at different spots pops up a message box simplifying the lingo into the layman’s tongue.

A nice little intro to the most awaited hatchback, I would say. Unless of course you are already on your way for the test drive.

My Daddy Strongest…

It’s the K12M engine. The word is pretty much being thrown around nowadays. But only someone who’s been tuned into the Indian auto scene can really make any sense out of that alphanumeric combination.

The Ritz brouhaha is reaching its crescendo now. The K12M engine that the slick car nestles under its hood is far from cute, no matter what impression the car gives. The four-cylinder is a behemoth at 1197 cc and packs in quite a punch with 85 ps at 6000 rpm. Among the domestic products Indian roads have played host to, this one promises to be the daddy of them all.

The car is stylishly packaged, no doubt. However, what makes the Ritz launch worth the wait and the shout is really the power and torque the new Maruti is capable of unleashing from under its hood. The waterfall interiors and the boomerang taillights notwithstanding, it is what this mean little machine can do on the Mumbai Pune expressway that I’m waiting to experience.

Aqua Car

I met an old friend the other day. From college times. And then followed the usual reminiscing about the past. But it wasn’t the usual “do you remember the time we…” sort of regular boring chat. Thankfully, yours truly and the man in question had been involved in more than one incident no short of hilarity.

The guffaws came in droves when we took to talking about an years old weekend trip to Gorai. Our man had just bought a second-hand Santro and was on cloud nine over his first car. The wee hours of Sunday morning saw us and the car parked on the beach gazing into nothingness, listening to the waves, guzzling beer and solving African poverty.

The high tide was supposed to mark the time of departure. And stick to the plan we did. But unbeknownst to us, the beach kid of curves inwards towards the part that we were parked at. Needless to say, by the time the waves got to our car, the rest of the beach, which was further extended, was already under the waves, literally trapping us. I can remember a few moments of panic and then stepping out of a car bobbing with the waves. Frantic attempts of retrieval, feelings of confusion, a man with a bullock cart and a rope, a car being pulled out of waves by two sturdy bulls and a hysteric friend guffawing and cursing the fact that he had no camcorder to immortalize the tragedy…

We didn’t see much of the Santro after that. He has moved on. To a Zen and then to a WagonR to be precise. His next buy is going to be a Ritz. Wise choice, I would say. The Ritz is being touted as the car with the best drivability to hit Indian markets. Its suspensions have been modified from the ‘Splash’ version to meet Indian road conditions. The ground clearance too is apt for our ever potholed roads. Not that it is going to help against the waves…

Gorai is going to be a far throw from the Ritz, assures my friend. For his sake, I hope he is right.

What a show

I was in Frankfurt last year when I decided on visiting the IAA International Motor Show. Being a huge fan of automobiles, this was my dream chance to see some hot wheels alongside some conceptual ones. I reached a little early as I didn't want to miss out on any spectacle.

Upon reaching there, I was bewildered by the sight that stole my vision. I was amidst these fascinating creations that would be driving the future. The Jaguar XF, a 600 BHP Bentley, 580 BHP Audi, an Aston Martin DBS, mini coopers, maserati's, nissan's and the works.

They all stood in shimmering glory. Even touching them was a privilege worth flying half way across the world. I was simply stunned! Even the show girls didn't seem half as attractive as some of these cars. And it would take a lot out of me to even vouch for that.

But one sight really baffled my mind. Amongst these legendary cars was the debut of another. And behold! it was an Indian car to boot by a manufacturer that is well versed with my family tradition. The car was called 'Splash' made by none other than Maruti. A sexy looking hatchback that not once looked like a misfit in the showroom. Heck, it even managed to get a lot of foreign car aficionados gawking at the beauty.

A breathtaking dashboard that looks like a waterfall, blue coloured interiors, massive storage space, music remote on the steering wheel, revolutionary shape, jazzy orange lights on the meter, a brand new K12 engine with BSIV compliance. This car had all it takes to become an international car.

When talking to some of the foreign nationals about the wonders that is car-making, they seemed to be very well surprised by my language skills and expertise on the subject.

Going by the Splash and my new found international acceptance, I'd say 'we Indians have arrived'. ;)

Runny Cost

You know, many a times, people buy cars without taking into consideration the future costs that will have to be met. These costs, knows as the running costs are pretty much ignored from the elements that go into making a decision on what car to buy. A friend of mine did the same thing. Now, he is finding it so hard to maintain the car that he is ready to sell it off. And because it is not in good condition, he will have to let go of it for cheaper then the market price of the second hand car. Such a shame I tell you!

But now look at the new Ritz from the house of Maruti Suzuki. There are two main reasons why I am really looking forward to get one. ONE: Servicing a Maruti is never a problem. These guys have servicing centers everywhere... City, Town, Village, Highways, maybe even in the middle of a lake (It’s supposed to be a joke, but you never know!). TWO: Owing to superior technology, these running costs are significantly reduced. Here’s how...

Higher Grade Engine Oil: Improves first changeover time from 1,000 Km to 10,000 Km

Increased Spark Plug Life: Spark Plug change over time has been changed from current 20,000 Km to 40,000 Km

Silent Timing Chain: Longer life in comparison to conventional Belt Design

Valve Clearance Adjustment: Due to Tappet Design, Valve clearance re-adjustment frequency has been reduced

What a beauty eh?

Standard of living

Which standard are you in? Haven't you been asked that question as a kid at least a gazillion times? And depending on your answer, your intellectual ability was automatically associated to the grade you were in. Well, that was a long time ago because the entire idea of standardization has transformed over the past few years and especially in India. There was a time when Indian made, distributed and certified products were not of international quality. They didn't really imply anything to the potential customer. But now, Indian standards are as good as their western counterparts.From the internationally recognized ISO, to its makeover as BIS, to automobile certification using the Bharat stage 4 compliance, or the BS4, India is getting stringent about its produce.Talking about the bs4, its emission standards are on par with the Euro IV compliance. With the new Bharat Stage IV, emission of sulphur and benzene from vehicles can be further minimised.Maruti, India’s largest car manufacturer, has already upgraded itself to the new compliance and shall test it on its forthcoming release by the name of 'Ritz'. The car is already making news with its K12M engine, revolutionary features and now happens to be BSIV complaint as well.Looks like we are about to witness a birth of the highest standards.

Show me the money!

There are a few things that money can buy, while the rest can be completely ignored (lol). Well, that’s my personal philosophy and one that I’ve been trying to inculcate in my best friend, Anahita, for a while now. You see, my best friend has recently graduated from her diploma course and her father, who happens to be a wealthy iron-export merchant, has given her a gift to die for. A handsome and extremely attractive cheque worth Rs.5 lakh.

Quite obviously, she was very excited and agog about her cache, me a little more than her, and wants to spends some time deliberating on what she plans to do with the money. So she came over, and we talked, rather bitched, and watched movies and spoke about our boyfriends and our favourite actors and finally got down to what she home for.

We have managed to come up with a list of things that will prove to be beneficial for her in the long run.

a) A Swarovski diamond necklace. But she rarely wears off shoulders or gowns. She’s more the sporty yet casual type.
b) Further education at one of the leading universities in London. But she hates cold weather. So that’s out.
c) Book property in the suburbs so that she and her boyfriend can live happily ever after. But her father already has a grand house in town under her name. Useless
d) A total fashion makeover from dentistry, hair styling/rebonding, to skin touch-ups and the works. But honestly, I love the way she looks and would never want her to change.
e) A small compact car, probably the ‘Ritz’ so that she can come over and meet me whenever she wants to or take long drives without having to worry about too much else. Hmmm, sounds interesting!

Guys, we are seriously confused. The last option seems like the most feasible one. But we need some help in deciding and picking the right choice. Any takers?